Why Do I Wander?
There are times, I don’t know when or how or why that I forget. You may feel that way too, at times. I forget my way, forget who God is, or what He has done for me, and what all of faith and redemption really means to me.
Sometimes I forget what it means to have my identity in Christ. Yes, I can read the list of who I am in Christ just to remind me. But for instance, what does it really mean to be a child of the King, a child of God? What is that really like? Is it possible to really know what that means this side of Paradise?
Or, is it possible to ever really comprehend God’s great love for me and what that is like? How can anyone understand how God, our Creator, made himself human – God, who is so holy that sin and evil cannot be in His presence, became sin for us. How can anyone understand that He was the only one who could through His holiness still take on all of the world’s sin?
But when I seek His Majesty and His Holiness. When I think about His terrific act of making himself sin just because he loves me! I have to tremble at the Goodness of God. When I lift up and look at Him, and see all He has done for me and the world. It really is hard for my finite mind to really understand God’s immense love he has for me.
It really is a terrible and fearful thing to be at the feet of God and be in His powerful presence. Not because of some fear that he could wipe me out, but because his love and goodness are so immense and powerful. It is so far beyond my comprehension.
How I Forget
I forget all of God’s greatness when I look at anything but His glory and greatness. But that is what satan wants me to do. Hebrews 12:1 tells me that “great clouds of witnesses” who have trusted God gave up their earthly strivings for a better hope in Christ alone. Hebrews also reminds me of how “weights and sins of this world cling to so closely to us”. These weights and sins cause me to wander and even question my faith. Do I forget the love that caused Jesus to go to the cross for me and all of us? Is it possible to even comprehend God’s Love for me and the world? How can I show that kind of sacrificial love to others? I cannot by myself. It is through Christ in me that only He can do it. But I have to run, run to God, run for God. To honor Him, to bless Him, to exalt Him as my King, to bring His Glory into His fold.
What I Need to Remember
I am created to bear witness to God’s faithfulness, mercy, and endless love. But that requires me to trust in the Lamb of God. Trust the one who made Himself sin out of His great Love me. As the old hymn “Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing” says:
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let thy Goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee,
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
I must daily bind my wandering heart to Christ. Psalm 138:8 points to The Lord who will fulfill his purpose for me because He is trustworthy and His love endures forever and ever. His promises are faithful even when I am not!
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Also, please share your thoughts in the comments below, I’d love to hear from you.